PREVIOUSLY ON GENESIS: Isaac and Rebekah had two children: Esau and Jacob. Esau became Isaac's favourite; Jacob became Rebekah's favourite. God foretold of a rivalry between them
26) There was a famine, so Isaac & Co. go to the Land of Gerar, home of the Philistines . God tells Isaac to settle here.
Whenever the people asked Isaac about his wife, Rebekah, and he would tell them that she was his sister, not his wife.
Abimelech, king of Gerar, notices that they are married, and asks Isaac why he lied to everyone, then warns everyone not to touch Isaac or Rebekah under pain of death.
Isaac is a good farmer; he becomes very wealthy. The Phillistines get jealous. Abimelech tells Isaac to go away. Isaac moves to the Beersheba, where God appears and tells him not to worry.
King Abimelech, accompanied by Advisor Ahuzzath and Commander Phicol, meet up with Isaac to make a peaceful covenant. To celebrate, they eat, drink, and stay overnight.
27) Isaac is now old and mostly blind. He tells his son Esau to kill something and cook some delicious food; in return, Isaac will bless him.
Rebekah overhears, and wants Jacob to get the blessing. She hatches a fiendish plan: she will cook the food; Jacob will give it to Isaac and receive the blessing.
Jacob worries that it won't work because he is smooth while Esau is hairy; if Isaac decides to feel him the deception will be revealed!
They get the food ready. Jacob dresses in Esau's clothes and puts goatskin on his hands and neck to cover up his smoothness.
Jacob goes to his father with the food and pretends to be Esau. Isaac is suspicious because he didn't expect Esau to return so quickly, and because he hears Jacob's voice. He asks to feel Jacob's hands. The goatskin fools him; he is convinced he is talking to Esau. He blesses Jacob.
Very shortly after Jacob leaves his father, Esau returns from his hunt, cooks some delicious food and presents it to his father.
Isaac becomes confused and asks "Who are you?"
Esau answers.
Isaac becomes more confused and explains why.
Esau lets out 'an exceedingly great and bitter cry' and asks his father to bless him.
Isaac explains that this can't be done because he's already given the blessing to Jacob. Now Esau must serve Jacob.
Esau now hates Jacob and plans to kill him after Isaac dies. Rebekah hears about this and warns Jacob, telling him to flee to her brother Laban in the land of Haran.
28) Isaac blesses Jacob and tells him to go the house of Bethuel, Rebekah's father, in the land of Haran. Here he should take a wife from the daughters of Laban, Rebekah's brother.
Jacob goes towards Haran. On the way, he sleeps on the ground, using a rock as a pillow. He dreams about a ladder going up from Earth to Heaven, on which the angels of God ascend and descend. God stands above it, and tells Jacob that the land he is on will be given to his offspring; that his offspring will be like dust, spreading it all directions; and that he will ensure his safe return to this land.
Jacob wakes and says: “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.”
29) Jacob reaches Haran, meets Laban, and stays with him.
Laban has two daughters: Leah (older; has bad eyesight) and Rachel (younger; 'beautiful in form and appearance'). Jacob loved Rachel, and agrees with Laban to serve him for seven years in exchange for Rachel.
'So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.
Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife that I may go in to her, for my time is completed.” So Laban gathered together all the people of the place and made a feast. But in the evening he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and he went in to her. And in the morning, behold, it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban, “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?”'
Laban explains that it is the custom to give the oldest daughter first, and if Jacob wants Rachel as well he'd have to work for another 7 years. Jacob does so; he loves Rachel more than Leah.
Jacob has 4 sons with Leah; none with Rachel.
30) Rachel is worried about not having had any children yet. She tells Jacob to 'go in to' her servant Bilhah, who conceives two sons with Jacob.
Leah stops producing children, so gives her servant Zilpah to Jacob. Zilpah has two sons with Jacob.
Leah produces 2 more sons and a daughter.
Rachel finally gets her own child: Joseph.
After Joseph's birth, Jacob asks Laban to send him home. Laban refuses because Jacob is a good worker; he is willing to up his wages. Jacob says that he really wants to return home, and explains that he is responsible for Laban's current wealth.
Laban asks Jacob what he wants to take with him. Jacob wants all the spotted and speckled goats and lambs from Laban's flock. Laban thinks this is reasonable.
Laban removes all the spotted and speckled animals from his flocks and sends them away, leaving Jacob to look through the plain coloured ones.
Jacob gets a bunch of sticks and places them in front of the flocks. The sticks are magic: the animals that breed in front of the them produce spotted and speckled offspring. Whenever the strongest animals were breeding, Jacob put the sticks in front of them so they produced spotted and speckled offspring. So Jacob received the offspring of the strongest animals, and left the offspring of the weakest for Laban.
31) Jacob learns that Laban doesn't like him so much any more. God tells Jacob to go home.
Rachel steals her father's household gods. Jacob sets off with his wives, children and livestock.
'Jacob tricked Laban the Aramean, by not telling him that he intended to flee.'
After three days, someone tells Laban that Jacob ran away. Laban sets off to chase him. God appears to Laban in a dream and says, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.”
Laban catches up to Jacob and asks wtf is going on? Why have you ran away without telling me? Why did you not let me send you off with a party? Why did you not let me kiss my daughters or grandchildren goodbye? Why have you stolen my household gods? Etc.
Jacob explains that he was afraid and didn't want his wives taken away by force. He knows nothing about the household gods, and promises to kill any one found with them.
Laban fails to find the household gods: Rachel had hidden them under her saddle and explained that she can't dismount because 'the way of women is upon' her.
Jacob gets angry and has a go at Laban for being ungrateful and accusatory.
Laban and Jacob make up and form a covenant; the next morning Laban returns home.
32) Jacob keeps going, and meets the angels of God. "This is God's camp!" he exclaims.
Jacob sends messengers ahead to tell Esau that he is on his way home. The messengers return and tell Jacob that Esau has 400 men with him. Jacob becomes afraid; he splits his convoy in two so that if Esau attacks one, the other can survive.
Jacob sends Esau a present of 220 goats, 200 sheep, 30 camels, 40 cows, 10 bulls and 30 donkeys in the hope of appeasing him.
That night, Jacob sends his family and servants across the Jabbok river, leaving him alone on the other side.
He wrestles with a man until daybreak. Jacob always wins, so the man touches Jacob's hip, and dislocates it.
"Let me go, for the day has broken," says the man.
"I will not let you go unless you bless me." says Jacob.
"What is your name?"
"Jacob."
"Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed." ('Israel' means 'he strives with God')
"Please tell me your name."
"Why is it that you ask my name?" And the man blesses him.
Jacob understands, saying "For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered."
'There to this day the people of Israel do not eat the sinew of the thigh that is on the hip socket, because he touched the socket of Jacob's hip on the sinew of the thigh.'
33) Jacob and Esau reunite. They meet, embrace, fall over, kiss and weep.
Esau asks who all the people with Jacob are. Jacob introduces them; they all bow to Esau.
Esau asks Jacob what the all the animal presents were for. Jacob explains that it was to ensure a friendly relationship. Esau explains that he has enough animals, he doesn't need any more. Jacob urges Esau to take the animals. Esau takes the animals.
They separate. Esau returns home; Jacob goes to the city of Shechem, buys some land, and sets up camp.
33) Dinah, daughter of Jacob and Leah, starts socialising with the people of the land.
'And when Shechem son of Hamor, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her.'
'His soul was drawn to Dinah. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her.'
Shechem and his father Hamor meet with Jacob & Co to ask for Dinah to be Shechem's wife. He explains that he is willing to pay a high bride price. He thinks it would be mutually beneficial to establish connections between their two peoples via marriages; he is willing to have Jacob's sons marry his daughters, etc.
Jacob & Co tell Hamor that they cannot let Dinah marry someone who is uncircumcised; they require all the males of the city to be circumcised, otherwise they will take Dinah and move elsewhere.
Hamor and Shechem get to it; they circumcise all the males.
Three days later, two of Jacob's sons, Simeon and Levi, go into the city and kill every single male. They plunder the city, taking everything. 'All their wealth, all their little ones and their wives, all that was in the houses, they captured and plundered.'
Jacob has a go at them, saying: “You have brought trouble on me by making me stink to the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites and the Perizzites. My numbers are few, and if they gather themselves against me and attack me, I shall be destroyed, both I and my household.”
'But they said, “Should he treat our sister like a prostitute?”'
35) God tells Jacob to go to Bethel and make an altar. Jacob tells his household to get rid of all their foreign gods, to purify themselves, and put on clean clothes.
They journey to Bethel. God appears to Jacob and tells him that he shall no longer be called Jacob; henceforth he shall be known as Israel!
Rachel goes into labour, and delivers another son. 'And as her soul was departing (for she was dying), she called him Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin.'
Jacob has a total of 12 sons. From Leah: Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, Zebulon. From Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin. From Bilhah: Dan and Naphtali. From Zilpah: Gad and Asher.
Isaac, Jacob's father, dies and is buried.
36) Esau moves to the land of Seir, and his descendants live their for a long time.
NEXT TIME: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat!
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