Sunday, 12 October 2014

Hebrew Bible: The Ten Generations, Extended Edition

These are the ten generations between Adam and Noah. In Genesis, only the story of Cain and Abel is really told. The other generations are listed with minimal detail. In Ginzberg's Legends of the Jews, we are given a bit more detail. Remember, this is derived from multiple apocryphal and Talmudic sources.

Cain & Abel

Satan visited Eve after the expulsion from Paradise, and conceived a child with her: Cain. Eve ran off at first, not wanting Adam to learn of her infidelity with the fallen angel, but when the pains of childbirth hit, Adam heard her screams and went to her aid. Cain was delivered with the help of 12 angels. Sometime later, Eve gave birth to Adam's son Abel. Both sons had twin daughters, who were to become their wives.

When they were older, Eve had a dream in which Cain drank Abel's blood. The parents, fearing that the dream predicted fratricide, decided to separate Cain & Abel as much as possible: they taught them different professions: Abel was a shepherd; Cain, a farmer of the ground. Both offered the products of their profession to God. God preferred Abel's sheep, but didn't much care for Cain's produce. Abel always gave the best sheep to God, while Cain gave what was leftover after he had eaten his full.

Cain became jealous of Abel because God preferred his sacrifices, and because Abel's twin-sister-wife was much more attractive than his. Cain decided to kill Abel; he attacked, but Abel was stronger; Abel fought him off and held him down. Cain begged his half-brother for mercy. When Abel let go, Cain slew him.

And then God turned up, and asked wtf is going on? Cain told God that he's not his brother's keeper and that yes, he has just killed him, but that it was obviously within God's power to have stopped him from doing so: he could have prevented the jealousy from arising, intervened during the fight, or ensured that there was no evil inclination within him in the first place.

God decided to banish Cain: he would be a fugitive forever, and the earth would not give up its fruit to him. God marked Cain with either (a) one letter from the name YHWH, (b) leprosy, or (c) a horn, so that all men and animals who saw him would know who he was and not to kill him.

Cain made a joke about God being in the habit of banishing people: "yesterday Thou didst banish my father from Thy presence, today Thou doth banish me."

After Abel's death, Adam and Eve separated.

Wandering the world, Cain decided to immortalise his name by building giant cities and monuments. He was crafty and wicked. Before him the world had been simple and men lived innocently; he made the world complicated and full of cunning.

Cain was killed by his great-grandson Lamech the Blind. Lamech would go hunting with his young son, who would point out animals for Lamech to shoot. One day, the son saw something horned in the distance, and told Lamech to shoot it dead. When they approached its corpse, they realised it was Cain.

The wives of Lamech then went to Adam to ask what should be done, whether they should stay with him despite what has happened. Adam suggested that they should, and the wives thought it funny he should say that given he's been separated from Eve for the past 130 years after Abel's death. Adam took note of this, and returned to Eve. His love for her had grown, and they begot another son, Seth.

The Seven Earths

Hey remember the seven different earths that God made back in the extended creation story? Here they are again! Another version of the seven earths:

So, after banishment from Eden, God moved Adam to Erez, the darkest earth, then moved him to Adamah, an earth with more light. Cain, Abel and Seth were born on Adamah.

Arka, the 3rd earth, was given to the Cainites, the descendants of Cain. Some of the Cainites are giants, some are dwarves, some have two heads which argue with each other, making it very difficult to reach a decision.

The builders of the Tower of Babel were banished to Ge, the fourth earth, where they established a glorious civilisation.

Neshiah, the fifth earth, is inhabited by dwarfs with no noses and no memory. They breathe through two holes in their faces instead.

Ziah, the sixth earth, is inhabited by handsome people who live in beautiful palaces. However, there are frequent droughts.

After the birth of Seth, the humans were sent to Tebel, the seventh earth, our earth.

Enosh

Enosh was the son of Seth. He once tried to explain creation to others of his generation. He explained that God had created man from dust and breathed life into him. He made a model man from clay, and imitated God breathing into it. But in that moment, Satan entered the clay man and animated it, and the people were astounded. They asked Enosh, "What is the difference between bowing down before this image and paying homage to a man?" Thus idolatry was invented. As punishment for their idolatry, God ensured that the countenances of later generations were no longer in his image and likeness; they resembled apes and centaurs (take that, evolutionists!).

The Lustful Angels

In the time of Jared, Enosh's grandson, a group of angels looked down on the earth and lusted after the attractive females; they wanted to get down there and make some children. The gang, led by Shemhazai, swore an oath to stick together and carry out their horny plan to the end. They descended onto Mount Hermon, and then shagged many, many female humans.

The angel-human hybrids were giants who consumed more than the earth could create. When they had exhausted the food supply, they took to eating humans, and the humans fled to the wilderness and ate animal flesh (This was bad; God only authorised the use of animals as food after the Great Flood).

The fallen angels taught men new skills. Azazel taught them how to smelt metal, forge weapons, armour and trinkets, how to make jewellery and and make-up. Armaros taught magic spells.

Enoch

Enoch was taken up into Heaven so that there would be a witness to testify to future generations that the Great Deluge was necessary. He was transformed into the angel Metatron, and became God's second-in-command. God instructed the angels to go to Metatron with any concerns first rather than bother him directly.

'When Enoch was transformed into Metatron, his body was turned into celestial fire - his flesh became flame, his veins fire, his bones glimmering coals, the light of his eyes heavenly brightness, his eyeballs torches of fire, his hair a flaring blaze, all his limbs and organs burning sparks, and his frame a consuming fire.'


Metatron in the video game 'Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne'


Methuselah

Methuselah became ruler of the earth after Enoch's transformation. He was, like his father, a righteous man. Using a sword engraved with the name of God, he killed thousands of demons, the offspring of Lilith's union with Adam. He slaughtered so many demons that Agrimus, the first of Lilith's offspring, entreated him to desist, and gave him the names of all the demons alive. Methuselah captured the demon kings and chained them up, while the remainder fled to the innermost chambers and recesses of the ocean.

Methuselah had a son: Noah.

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