Qur'an: Laws To Live By

Once ruler of Medina, Muhammad had to come up with some laws for everyone to live by, such as:

"The adulteress and the adulterer: flog each of them a hundred lashes. And let not pity for them overcome you in regard to the law of God."

And this shining beacon of 7th century Arabian morality:

"Do not force your female slaves into prostitution, if they desire chastity, in order to gain some advantage in the present world. If forced, God, once they are forced, is towards them All-Forgiving, Compassionate to each."

As ruler of Medina, he had a lot to deal with. But people kept trying to talk to him at meal times, and it was getting very distracting. That's one of the burdens of being a celebrity/prophet/warlord. Muhammad's best mate, God, the creator of all things, was able to help his buddy out:

"O believers, do not enter the chambers of the Prophet unless given leave, and do not wait around for it to be well cooked. Rather, if invited enter, and when fed disperse, not lingering for conversation. This behaviour irritates the Prophet, who is embarrassed to tell you, but God is not embarrassed by the truth."

While the tone has got a bit darker, the Qur'an hasn't got much more exciting. He's still going on about the imminent End of the World and the need to stock up on good deeds, and occasionally mentioning or retelling a biblical story. Most of these retellings are clunky and boring; the best so far features King Solomon - leading an army of humans, jinn, and talking birds - meeting a talking ant, in the aptly named Valley of Ants.

There's still been nothing about Islam being the One True Faith that everyone needs to convert to. Muhammad's very much a "if they're being nice, leave 'em to it" kind of guy:

"As for the believers, the Jews, the Sabeans, the Christians, the Zoroastrians and the polytheists - God shall judge between them on the Day of Resurrection. God is a witness of all things."

Only 260 pages to go! I have started speed-reading it, because "stock up on good deeds because the End of the World is gonna happen any day now" stopped being entertaining many pages ago.